Dejar la escritura no es una opción, pero a veces siento que me ahogo.
No sé muy bien qué va a salir con esto, simplemente quiero escribir con la mente en blanco sobre un tema que me trae por la calle de la amargura desde hace un par de semanas.
Adoro escribir, es algo que me encanta, que me llena y me deja el corazón calentito al ser consciente de que me gustan mis historias, de que quiero leerlas una y otra vez. Por eso, mi mayor ilusión sería vivir de esto, de la escritura. Vivir a base de crear otras realidades en las que me siento como en casa.
Lo sé, lo sé, es un sueño bastante imposible teniendo en cuenta el panorama actual de la literatura, pero es algo que me encantaría. Y creo que ya lo dijo Taylor Swift en la canción ‘The lakes’; ese manso de paz en el que se imagina viviendo es lo que yo quiero para mí.
Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die. I don’t belong, and my beloved, neither do you
Pero hoy en día ser una escritora que vive de eso no se queda solo en tener una buena historia, que te guste y saber venderla a la editorial. No. Hoy en día tienes que venderte también a ti. Tienes que estar presente en las redes, crear un plan de publicaciones para mantener a tu público interesado, retuitear artículos interesantes, recomendar novelas, comentar a otras autoras o autores, hacer de vez en cuando hilos interesantes, caer bien y un sinfín de cosas más que no me apetece seguir enumerando (como veis, la teoría me la sé).
Y todo eso me agota.
Soy una persona introvertida. Eso quiere decir que me gusta mi tiempo de soledad, disfruto de la escritura porque es un momento en el que estoy yo con mis pensamientos y mis preguntas. Es un momento para reflexionar y para trabajar en mí misma. Un tiempo que me regalo con gusto.
Ser introvertida también quiere decir que tengo una batería y que esta se me va gastando cada vez más rápido con cada interacción social. Llega un punto en el que marca 1% y tengo que encerrarme en mí misma para recargarme y volver a estar radiante.
Las redes sociales también me suponen una interacción social bastante exigente. Tener que estar tan pendiente de todos… Soy una persona sencilla, tengo un círculo reducido de amistades y es cierto que me cuesta crear nuevas. A veces, cuando estoy hablando con alguien de internet siento que molesto y que soy una pesada, pero eso es otro problema que no se debe abordar en estos momentos.
Las redes sociales son un mundo tan inmenso que me agobia el simple hecho de pensar en ello. La planificación, el tener que estar ahí todos los días como un trabajo que no es remunerado y no siempre tiene una recompensa satisfactoria… Me agobia demasiado y no quiero tomármelo como un trabajo en serio.
Porque yo no quiero dedicarme a eso.
Sí, he hecho la carrera de audiovisuales y he estudiado algo de marketing, pero no, no me gusta estar ahí tan pendiente de todo ese mundo, dedicarle tantas horas a algo que no me apetece para nada.
Y muchas veces es hacer eso o no existir, o no poder publicar. Si di el paso para autopublicar mi primera novela fue por el simple hecho de que quería tener un libro que hubiera visto la luz, aunque pocas personas lo lean.
Mi creatividad la uso en escribir historias, en desarrollar personajes para tramas de rol narrativo, pero me cuesta la vida pensar en post de twitter o de Instagram. Post que sean interesantes, que hagan atractiva mi novela porque no todo el mundo sabe venderse y no todo el mundo debería verse en la obligación de aprender a hacerlo.
Suena a queja, lo sé. Pero yo solo quiero escribir. Es lo único que necesito en esta vida. Quiero escribir y comentar mis historias. Y sí, quiero leer y comentar las obras de otras autoras por eso no tengo ningún reparo en hacer reseñas y publicarlas en internet para que las vea toda persona que quiere verla. Pero no quiero dedicarme al marketing, no quiero venderme todos los días, esperando que a alguien le caiga bien y que, con el tiempo, se decida a darme una oportunidad como escritora.
Toda esta vida tan rápida, con libros que dejan de estar de moda tras dos o tres meses de salir a la venta me agota. Todo esto de tener que pensar en no estar haciendo lo suficiente por promocionarme, por vender mi novela, por venderme a mí como escritora, me agota. Está ahí de fondo y no hago nada para solucionarlo porque no quiero, no me apetece estar ahí en las redes, todo el tiempo que pueda y con esa cantidad de información sobre mí y sobre mis novelas que tengo que comentar para que a alguien le parezca interesante.
Me cuesta mucho aceptar el hecho de que sin las redes un escritor a día de hoy no es nada. Porque sí, tenemos ejemplos de personas que se hicieron famosas de la noche a la mañana, pero lo siento, yo no me lo trago. Sé que en el camino para convertirse en escritor hay mucho esfuerzo y dedicación, hay muchas horas tras la historia que creas y muchas horas tras la marca que construyes en Internet. Y hay algunas personas que tienen suerte, que están en el momento adecuado en el lugar adecuado. Yo sé que no soy de esas porque nunca he tenido una estrella pegada a la nuca.
Así que mi segunda opción es decidirme a estar pendiente de las redes sociales, a hacer planes y a publicar mi contenido, pero a la vez sé que ese esfuerzo me va a llevar a una infelicidad que no quiero experimentar. Ya he pasado por la etapa de querer más seguidores, querer que me vean, que me lean, intentarlo. Solo me ha traído decepciones (conmigo misma), muchos reproches (de mí misma a mí misma) y más hincapié en mi falta de autoestima (algo que estoy solucionando poco a poco).
Así que lo único que me queda por repetir es que lo único que quiero, lo único por lo que de verdad trabajo, es por hacer todo el proceso de escritura; desde la creación de la historia, hasta la corrección y la creación de una propuesta editorial atractiva.
Y sé, aunque me duela admitirlo, que eso a día de hoy nunca va a ser suficiente.
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סבין ערביה מדהימה מהדרום עכשיו במרכז.
אתר לפי שם לעצמו למטרה להציע את השירות האיכותי ביותר בעבור מי שרוצה חופשה קצרצרה, איכותית,
לא יקרה וברמה גבוהה.
דירות דיסקרטיות מיוחדות במרכז הארץ, מנומסות ויפות.
דירות דיסקרטיות רמת גן פנטזיות הן משהו שיש לגברים ונשים,
אולסקס, מנומסות ויפות. דירות דיסקרטיות ברמת גן ועיסוי אירוטי לגברים שרוצים להנות.
דירות דיסקרטיות ברמת גן – גבעתיים לגברים שמחפשים נשים הכי יפות.
גברים בדרך כלל מעדיפים לתאם את הבילוי הזה כשהם נמצאים
לבד, בעוד נשים אוהבות להפתיע את
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חדשות. שוודי, קלאסי עם שמנים
ארומטים לאור נרות. דירות דיסקרטיות עם מבחר
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בכל הארץ באינדקס ציצי . דירות דיסקרטיות רמת גן.
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דירות דיסקרטיות רמת גן המעניקות שירותי ליווי ועיסוי מקצועי
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העיסויים שתרצו לקבל תוך שאתם נהנים ממראה תמונות הבחורות האקזוטיות והאיכותיות
המעניקות עיסוי ארוטי מענג.
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